Girl…Don’t Take Anything Personally

by startoverevie, posted in Books, The Four Agreements

The Second of the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz is “Don’t take anything personally”. Such a simple rule, and so easily broken. I have a friend that every time I start to discuss a topic with, don’t matter what the topic is, somehow she finds a way of reflecting it on herself, and almost always without skipping a bit my response to that is, “Girl everything is not always about you, you ain’t that important”… it’s meant to be a joke, but sometimes, it’s more true than not.

It’s so easy to use others as examples for the rules and principles we want (I) want to live by, but, I very often struggle with this one. Why? Well here’s the thing, it’s easy to think that I’m not taking “it” personally when I’m conscious, but honestly, at an unconscious level I’ve noticed that I do take many things personally. I take it personally when I get home and my husband night after night will not clean up after the kids, or get dinner started. I look at that as a war against me, but I know in the deepest part of me that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him “not feeling” like doing anything when he gets home from work. Or when my co-worker continues to turn anything that I do to make my work productive and effective as a war against him, because he refuses to do anything more that what is absolutely necessary to do in the moment. The way he feels has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him and his insecurities. I’m sure I can find tons of examples where any of us can make the things that happen around us personally. Here are a few pointers to remember in order to make this agreement automatic for us:

  1. Nothing others do is because of you.
  2. What others say and do is a projection of their own “dream” (life)
  3. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

“If we didn’t agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their works or behaviour could not affect us”

*Ref: Human Potential Unlimited, Inc. (www.humanpotentialunlimited.com)

Be Impeccable with your Word

by startoverevie, posted in Books, life, The Four Agreements

From the book: “The Four Agreements”

I read this book about 6 years ago. Simple principles of life, that can easily be incorporated in every day life. I came accross the notes I had, and realized that I really did forget all I learned from these four basic principles.

The first “Be impeccable with your word” basically means:

  • Speak with integrity
  • Say only what you mean
  • Avoid using words to speak against yourself
  • Avoid using words to speak against others
  • Use the power of your word for truth and encouragement

It’s interesting to me that whenever I find myself in a situation that goes against the above list, I feel it in my gut. I know that I’m going agaisnt a core believe. The question is why do I get to that point? I think the answer is not being fully present, and concious of my words and actions. Since I know the problem, I now wonder what could be the solution. Should I give myself time to stop and think before I talk? Should I tell others that I don’t want to talk about other people and have them stop me when I do? I’m not quite sure, but this is something that I will continue to explore this week, and hopefully I can find an everyday / every moment strategy so that I can honor this. When I do, I will return to this post and update it 🙂

May this moment be better than the moment prior to this.

When you wait, you get older

by startoverevie, posted in Uncategorized

Today man was a day that made me feel like, what in the world am I waiting for? I know I’m not where I should be to achieve my dream of making a living doing something that I absolutely love. What is that? I love listening to people and help them work through their problems, dreams, and desires and motivate them to achieve them. I’m not sure how I’ll get there but I must get there. I know it in my gut, that is what I was born to do. Have a beatuful practice where people can sit there, feel at home and feel better by the time they leave my space. If I can achieve this by the time I’m 50, I will feel fully accomplished and will be able to do this for as long as I live.

Mel Robins read this quote at beginnig of her show:

“The only thing that happens when you wait, is you get older!”

The question I ask myself is, what can I do each day to get a step closer to my desire?

Say onto yourself “Peace be Still”

by startoverevie, posted in dear me, family, life, marriage

Not doing what I said I would do gets to me real bad, real hard. So hard that I disappear, and try to forget what I wanted, but at the end, it all comes back. Much has happened since I was last here. But interestingly I have news for you, great news! I have been starting over every single day!!! Ok ok, I know that’s not exactly “news” but it’s my way of coming back saying, “you see, I’ve kept up with my theme” (*wink).

Here’s the thing, in life you can go in one of two ways on this topic… You can choose to start over, or life will find a way of making you start over. And that is what my intention is when I write in this blog. I am reminding myself that I’m starting over on my terms.

Life has changed drastically. Last I wrote I was on the verge of a divorce, today, we are stronger than ever as a family, and truly found a middle ground to start over.

I’m closing with this reminder to self:

“Self Control is Strength
Right Thought is Mastery
Calmness is Power
Say onto yourself Peace be Still” (James Allen – As a man thinketh)

Being “Mami”

by startoverevie, posted in COMMITMENT, family, life, love

I’m spend 85% of my time with my boys, except for the 3 hours a day Monday – Friday that they are in summer camp, I am always with them. They are 3 & 4 years old, so most of my day consists of responding to all of their “mami” requests. Mami I’m hungry, mami I don’t want that, mami it hurts, mami he hurt me, mami it’s not working, mamiiiiiiii. And yes it is mami because we are hispanic :-).

But, I can’t imagine a sweeter sound than that of my boys, specially when they call me name. They also come over and give me hugs and kisses and say they love me. So, at the end of the day, being “mami” is the biggest blessing I could have ever imagined.

So much to talk about, but nothing to say

by startoverevie, posted in family, life, love, marriage

I have so much that I could write about/talk about, but some how I feel like I have nothing to say. Crazy talk right?

Summary:

Divorce is imminent .

My heart is in a state of mourning, like when someone is diagnosed with a deadly illness.

Nothing worst than being in a relationship with someone that doesn’t talk or process any of the significant events of life. It’s a very lonely relationship, and break up.

Sad for my boys.

Sad for me.

Scared of how I will be able to financially sustain them.

Holding on to my faith in God. I know he will provide.

Good night.

Not perfect? It’s ok…

by startoverevie, posted in COMMITMENT, love

Dear self,

Just want to take a moment to let you know that it is ok for you not to meet the goals you set for yourself the way you originally planned. It is ok that you tried, and that you put an effort in trying to make your life better. It is ok to be confused, it is ok to question your decisions, it is ok to be a little messy. It is ok if you didn’t do it the way you had originally planned. Whatever the reasons are for not being able to achieve it as planned, just use those to do it better next time. Give yourself credit for trying, and above all things never forget that I love you. Don’t quit, keep trying, stay committed. Remember every day gives you a chance to start over and to do it better.

Love,

Me

Let’s talk relationships

by startoverevie, posted in COMMITMENT, family, love, marriage

Today I heard the best quote I’ve heard in a while regarding relationship in particular marriage. It goes like this:

“When you are fighting, it’s not me vs. you, it’s US against the problem”. -Jay Shetty

I mean, you know that this is something that rarely anyone thinks of in this way. But I really took this to heart because I know for a fact that if when having a disagreement or dealing with a problem my husband and I would think of it this way, it would all work out much better at the end. Just saying.

Life isn’t easy

by startoverevie, posted in family, life

Life is complicated. Ok, ok, I know you know that, and I know that, but sometimes it just has to be said out loud. Things are happening around me that really make my daily living a bit more difficult. Interestingly these occurrences are happening within my family. My mom is having issues with my brother, my brother is having issues with his wife, and I am having issues with my husband. But my experience has taught me that all of this will pass, and it is highly important to remember that after all is said and done, that after the storm when the calm comes having a family that is still together is what really matters.

Tough but I ain’t’ giving up

by startoverevie, posted in COMMITMENT

This journey to lose weight is tough. I’ve messed up nearly every day, and I haven’t been meeting my goals. But I will not give up.

I’m writing because I said I’d write at least 3 times a week. I don’t have anything super inspirational, but I’m here. I heard in one of those inspirational videos that I should write down 3 reasons why we are doing whatever it is I am committing to. Here are my three:

  1. Because right now this weight is taking away from my ability to feel genuinely happy. I’m constantly in my head about it, feeling fat and ugly, and quite frankly very disgusted with myself. It feels horrible, and I have the power to change that!
  2. I want to be much more active. My boys that are 3 and 4 need mommy to play with them on the floor, run around, play tag, and soccer and whatever else they invent. I want to do that fully, freely, comfortably.
  3. Because if I continue on this path of obesity I will die sooner that I should. I simply don’t want my cause of death to be “because I am fat”!.

Today Weds, hump day, I look to the rest of the week with optimism and hope. Hey I’m here to start over as many times as I need to without giving up. 170 Here I come!!!!