Category: Books

Girl…Don’t Take Anything Personally

by startoverevie, posted in Books, The Four Agreements

The Second of the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz is “Don’t take anything personally”. Such a simple rule, and so easily broken. I have a friend that every time I start to discuss a topic with, don’t matter what the topic is, somehow she finds a way of reflecting it on herself, and almost always without skipping a bit my response to that is, “Girl everything is not always about you, you ain’t that important”… it’s meant to be a joke, but sometimes, it’s more true than not.

It’s so easy to use others as examples for the rules and principles we want (I) want to live by, but, I very often struggle with this one. Why? Well here’s the thing, it’s easy to think that I’m not taking “it” personally when I’m conscious, but honestly, at an unconscious level I’ve noticed that I do take many things personally. I take it personally when I get home and my husband night after night will not clean up after the kids, or get dinner started. I look at that as a war against me, but I know in the deepest part of me that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him “not feeling” like doing anything when he gets home from work. Or when my co-worker continues to turn anything that I do to make my work productive and effective as a war against him, because he refuses to do anything more that what is absolutely necessary to do in the moment. The way he feels has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him and his insecurities. I’m sure I can find tons of examples where any of us can make the things that happen around us personally. Here are a few pointers to remember in order to make this agreement automatic for us:

  1. Nothing others do is because of you.
  2. What others say and do is a projection of their own “dream” (life)
  3. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

“If we didn’t agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their works or behaviour could not affect us”

*Ref: Human Potential Unlimited, Inc. (www.humanpotentialunlimited.com)

Be Impeccable with your Word

by startoverevie, posted in Books, life, The Four Agreements

From the book: “The Four Agreements”

I read this book about 6 years ago. Simple principles of life, that can easily be incorporated in every day life. I came accross the notes I had, and realized that I really did forget all I learned from these four basic principles.

The first “Be impeccable with your word” basically means:

  • Speak with integrity
  • Say only what you mean
  • Avoid using words to speak against yourself
  • Avoid using words to speak against others
  • Use the power of your word for truth and encouragement

It’s interesting to me that whenever I find myself in a situation that goes against the above list, I feel it in my gut. I know that I’m going agaisnt a core believe. The question is why do I get to that point? I think the answer is not being fully present, and concious of my words and actions. Since I know the problem, I now wonder what could be the solution. Should I give myself time to stop and think before I talk? Should I tell others that I don’t want to talk about other people and have them stop me when I do? I’m not quite sure, but this is something that I will continue to explore this week, and hopefully I can find an everyday / every moment strategy so that I can honor this. When I do, I will return to this post and update it 🙂

May this moment be better than the moment prior to this.